By the Correspondent
Good Listening
One must listen rightly,
Cautiously, effectively,
Intelligently, unpretentiously and calmly. If you want to be a good listener you have to cultivate the habit of effective listening. Those who are good at communication know the importance of listening, which is perhaps more significant that even speaking.
It is not an exaggeration to say that relationships thrive more on listening skills than on speaking. A good speaker may sometimes find himself out of place in a group, but a good listener seldom finds himself in such a situation.
Efforts can be made to improve the listening habits by following certain practices.
1. To make listening, a regular habit you ought to start
Immediately. Start from today and from now on dedicate at least an hour to listening only.2. During this one-hour, do nothing but listen with all your attention and application. Listen to the sounds and the words as they come to you in their unmodified state.
3. Listen without the intervention of any thoughts, without any agitation in your mind. Enjoy the pristine beauty and the syllables of the sounds.
4. Concentrate on one sound or many sounds or on all sounds that comes to you at a time.
5. Listen to the distant sounds that are almost inaudible but can be heard only by dint of efforts. Listen to the faintest of the sounds such as tickling of a watch, movement of wind, the rustling of the grass or for that matter your own breathing. At the end of the exercise, listening should have become an integral part of your system.
6. Try to replay in your mind the various sounds that you hear every day. Try to replay a particular piece of music or song that interests you. Try to create mentally the sounds of nature
Can you recollect the sounds exactly the way they are? Can you recollect various sounds at one swoop? Can you play an entire orchestra mentally in your mind? Keep practicing till you can answer to these questions.
A mind that is fully vigilant, alert and liberated from all cares and worries is most conductive to effective listening. If you want to allow the words of others to enter your mind freely, you must cultivate a free and undistributed mind and an unassuming personality.
Listen without judgment. They key to good communication is listening well. Save your thoughts judging for later after you have heard and understood what was said.
Pay more attention to others, their thoughts and words than to yourself and to your own thoughts and words as you listen. Rid yourself of that egoistic attitude.
Do not be interested in being right. Being right is not the point. If your want to be right, you are neither able to listen nor communicate….because you have set up a barrier already. If your mind wanders, ask for repetition. We all are subject to distraction. Try to stay focused. In all cases repeat back what you heard and ask if it is correct.
Say it honestly, but with consideration for the listener’s feelings. Be polite, respectful and sincere.
Listen without thinking about what you will say next. Take time before you respond. It is in our eagemess to make an impression and communicate our thoughts to others that we tend to forget the true act of listening. To become a good listener we must learn to keep ourselves in the background. It is only through humility that we can reach others. Empathy and rapport are the two wires trough which you can connect yourself with the rest of the humanity.
TOP TIPS
1. Sit up
2. Look interested.
3. Act interested
4. Lean forward
5. Listen
6. Nod your head to show that you are tuned in.
7. Track the speaker with your eyes.